Friday, September 03, 2010

Baby News: We...Are...Having...A...

Hello All,

Don't worry: Those are not my tattoos...or my arms for that matter!

For those of you who are not in the know, my wife is pregnant with our fourth child. This child, from it's conception, has been a child that has had the greatest expectations. For one, this baby is it, our final offering to global overpopulation. But more importantly, this baby has the weight of balancing the gender power struggle that exists currently in this family. When this baby was conceived, it would either balance the power and Hercules would emerge or crush the scales in favor of the women.

You probably think that this does not matter much. It does matter incredibly! Let me tell you how. For every movie Caleb picks, there are two chick flicks he must endure. For every army man, there are two dolls. For every vote on what to play, there are two votes for girl games. He can't win.

Oh, but it gets worse. These girls will be the same the same house...where I LIVE!! Are you getting this!? How much drama can Caleb and I take!? So very early on, when it was learned that a baby was coming, the prayers were not so subtle from the male contingency: WE WANT REINFORCEMENTS! Forget the PC "All-We-Want-Is-A-Healthy-Baby" propaganda. I have been "Boy Only" since day 1.

Let it be 3 on 3. Equal opportunity. Blessing for everyone!

Yesterday, we were able to get our sonogram. Let me first say that Beaver Medical Group has sonogrammed all of our children and has been able with great efficiency to determine the sex of each baby. Let me also let you know that with each baby I have been wrong about the sex. When I called "boy," we got a girl. When I called "girl," it was Caleb. Goosegg. 0 for 3! You might think that this discourages me and you would be WRONG! "THIS JUST MEANS I'M DUE!" "I've got to be right this time!"

As has become our sonogram pattern, both Grandmas were present, as well as Elizabeth. Yeah, I see the feminine moral support. We waited for the tech to come out and let us know that we could come back. I stroked my lucky rabbits foot, did not walk on any of the lines on the carpet and prayed, "Let it be male....PLEASE!"

The moment of truth came when the technician came out. I checked his eyes for any sign of hope, any give, but he was stone faced. Clearly, he relishes his job, hiding the secrets as long as he can. He brought us back, no clue as to what he had discovered with his little "secret machine." That's good dude. Let's not gloat.

He then proceeded to show off his sonogrammatic prowess by giving us a tour of the body! Inside I was screaming: WHO CARES ABOUT THE EYES!?!!? WHY DO I WANT TO SEE THE BABY'S NASAL CAVITY!?!?! Clearly, this man needs people to recognize his skills as a sonogram technician! (And yes, just in case you are wondering, the baby has 2 of everything, except where it should have 5 of everything, at which point, that's all there as well!) The ability to make out where the elbow is while in utero, is a fine point on the resume! But what I want to know Sonogram Man is, will we be having an IRON MAN birthday party or another Princess party come January?

Finally, he takes us to the main event, after an amazingly long under card. "Two legs." Finally. "And right there in between the legs..." Drum roll....


I asked him to check again from another angle. Nothing. "How many years have you been doing this!?"


I actually planned to put a picture of the sonogram here, but thought better of it...needless to say:

I am 0 for 4!

Lela and the female contingent scream out in gloating glee, as their population is helped by yet another little one of them! Me? I walked out and plotted my strategy for the bunker that I will make out of the garage!

Little Ana, prayerfully, will join us January 30th. We are working on a middle name right now, and are praying about what it might be, though Renae gave us a great suggestion at the dinner table the other night. Aside for all the jokes, we are grateful for this little one and can't wait for her to come and be part of our very girly family!

Blessings...To Our Friends,
Frank Sanchez